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A few months ago, I made a vow to review the website copy of 100 wedding planners websites in 100 days. I am honoring my commitment — with 98 more days to go (after today).
Here’s contestant #2.
The good: “Let’s Make Your Dreams Come True” sounds as if the wedding planner is speaking directly to a bride or groom. She is making it sound like they are a team working together — her, the bride + groom — to make their wedding dreams come true.
The bad: The copy is ALL about the planner + really has nothing to do with the bride + groom. Almost every single sentence is “I this…” + “My that…”
It is appropriate to say “I” and “my,” but it is important to twist what you are saying to show why the client should be working with you.
The ugly: Her copy also fails to let couples know what it is that she does. She never once says that she is a wedding planner. She refers to her services, but she doesn’t come right out + say that she is a planner, so if a prospective couple lands on this page, they either have to hunt down what her “services” are on another page of her site.
While I blanked out the name of the business, I should add that even the business name does not solve this mystery for the shopping bride + groom, so…
Another huge failure is a call to action. She also fails to tell the couple what to do once they finish reading the copy.
I’m Kristie Lorette McCauley. I have a word addiction and I’m not afraid to use it (or admit it).
In my past life, I was a certified wedding planner. In my current life, I am the wedding planner content + copy writer.
I use my writing + wedding planning experience to turn your thoughts into words that land you DREAM brides + grooms + book your calendar solid.